Sunday, July 02, 2006
Life is what you make it!
Its been a rough journey thus far. Between broken friendships, broken dreams, heartaches and an emotional downfall its been rough. But hey Im a true believer in destiny and what brings you to certain stages of life.
I've made a lot of mistakes in my past, but I have learned from them and found ways to move on. LIVING AND LEARNING is the true meaning of life!! I cant say I dont have regrets for my past ... i mean come on we all do ..... but I will say I have only the regrets that are true to my heart. Although my past had been a bittersweet one I must say i loved every minute of it.
I've grown this past year more than I ever have in my life. I have realized things that I never realized before ... its ok to talk to people, its ok open your heart, its ok to love others, care about people, and also let your guard down from time to time to let the right people in.... Its a risky thing to do .. sometimes it turns out great, but other times it leaves you hurt! Its a big step when you do that and you also learn about other people and about yourself, but in reality its a risk that needs to be taken. If you dont try new things once in a while you wont learn anything new. It took a while for me to see it all ... see the whole picture, think outside the box, and even put myself in someone else shoes for once... Its a scary thought but also an overwhelming feeling when you can see more than you want to see... when you let yourself feel the things you are scared to feel, see the things you are scared to see, and also take those chances in life you are scared to take!! I want to thank all of those who have helped me along the way. You all know who you are (xxoo) !!!!!!!!!!!
Life is to damn short soooooooo Live life to the fullest for tomorrow is not a promise.
Update on the family
Dad is doing good he wants to start doing his own catering on the side again. He got this gig at a greek church a few months ago and now the itch is back haha Wow its been so long but I am glad he is doing this for himself. He wont leave the school he is working at (benefits are to damn good haha) but he will and has been do some of his own catering on the weekends. Bro and I wont help and for all of you who know us you all know we hate the food industry haha. SORRY DAD!!!
Michael is doing good. Working working working ... Now its two jobs just because he wants to save up lots and lots of money. My brother takes after my dad when it comes to money haha .. my mom too but more so my dad :) !! You all know michael... . He turned out to be the smart one out of the both of us haha!! Well he took the summer of from school and will be starting up back in the Fall so his life is totally on track.
As for me I am not sure what I want to do. I have gotten some job offers (film and TV) but I have said no to them all. I still want to work in the industry, but I am not sure if working 80hrs a week is what I really really really want to get back into. The money is good (GREAT) , the work is always fun hahaha okokok stressful and hard at times (you have all gotten an working chrissie phone call before haha) but even after all of that bitching when I look back the weekly pay usually made up for all the bad :) .. plus I always got free shit (SWAG) .... but really after mom passed away and taking a year off and getting that chance to really look at life and re-evaluate what is more important to me ... I have realized that what I thought matter the most before does not anymore. I took my family for granted and now wish I did not ... we all live and learn but I wish that lesson never had to be learned for me .. I wish I saw it for myself!! Life is just to darn short and I dont want to live to work. I did it for 4 years and now the things that did not seem important to me mean the world to me!
I have had the idea of going to Greece for a while now in my head.... yeah I know what you all are saying hahaha... another chrissie idea.... im just damn stubborn... but this one has just been lingering and linger on .... I feel like I just need to get away for a while... not just go out of town to visit jackie, danit, family in arizona .... although it would be cheaper and also interesting when it came to stoires :) haha, but I just feel I need to get away to gather my thoughts and see what else is out there .... my other options... find that path I have gotten off track of.... figure out what I really want to do ... where I really want to be!! You are prob saying I can gather my thoughts anywhere (go surfing, talk a walk, go for a run, go to the mall hahaha) .... I know ... and I know its Greece .. the other side of the world .... and you all who think I am doing wrong ... are prob right ... I will probably find no answers there, BUT its an escape I need to take for now just because. Sometimes we do things just because. We dont have all the answer to why we do the things we do or why things happen, but it all happens for a reason!!
If all goes as planned and Murphy's Law does not come into play (hurricanes, plane crash, sudden death ahhhhh) I will be partying the night away in the Mediterranean soon!
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