SADDER THAN SAD

I NEED A WORD THAT MEANS SADDER THAN SAD =(
UNHAPPY,MISERABLE,MELANCHOLY,GLUM,GLOOMY,DESPONDENT...
I AM THINKING GLUM IS MY NEW WORD FOR SADDER THAN SAD !!!

ITS OCT 1st and I WELL TELL YOU THIS MONTH ... I THOUGHT THE PAST TWO WEEKS WERE FUCKEN BAD FOR ME ... WOW I AM DREADING THE NEXT FEW MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAD A BAD DREAM

Why Do We Dream?
...and just what ARE dreams, anyway? Scientists are still debating that one. Remember, they haven't figured out what most of our brain capacity is used for, much less what dreams are or why we dream...so they'll be busy on this one way past our lifetimes!

Ok ... now to why I am writing ... I truly believe that ... every person, place, and thing is in your dream for a reason... yeah I am a dork but I once read this book that your dreams are your hidden secrets, your hidden thoughts, and also your hidden paths in life. Your minds always plays tricks on you like when you are home alone you hear and think of everything that can possibly scare you..you know nothing is gonna happen or is even there but you still find away to fool yourself. Its your mind .. remember even scientists haven't figured out what most of our brain capacity is used for....Ok Ok Ok whatever that is just what I truly believe when it comes to dreams. We dream for reasons and yes sometimes great and yes sometimes bad, but in every dream you can find an answer if you look for the right things.

Ok so I am going on a date tonight and i haven't seen this boy in forever .. i love him .. not really lol but I do love his company ... so it was around 3pm and I have the disney channel on and from all the stress I have been under the past few weeks I have not really gotten one good night sleep .. hence the text messages IM's and emails people get from me at like 3 in the morning haha ... sooooo i say yes to this boy and decide to take a nap .. ahhh sleep I was tired and knew I needed to at least lay down for a while so I pass out ... I passed out till 5:30 ... and I woke up to this worst dream ever ... ohhh boy here it is ....

Ok so work sent me to this company to interview and do a pitch for .. i was not looking forward into go but I was like sure why not and I asked bro to come with me for the ride .. the bribe was I would buy him lunch .. he said deal ... we get to this company and I tell them my name and they search me and also little bro .. im like umm ok .. whatever .. so I get on the elevator and the elevator man pushes the button and the elevator take us up to the 80th floor ... We get to the top add its this darn red and black waiting room ... bro looks at me I look at bro ... and it was that ohhh lord look from both of us ... the time was around 5pm and I remember telling him I hope we are out in time to get to swigs by 7:30 he started to laugh .. so that comment leads me to believe it was on a WEDNESDAY night ... ahhhhh Wednesday nights I soooo look forward to them .. ok ok ok back on track .. so I go in pitch my idea they love it and also want to hire me .. i tell them I have to think about it and I shake everyones hands (ps fyi all my pitches suck ass i am the worst public speaker ever) soooo that was a lie in my dream hahaha ... ok so i go back to the red and black dark room and notice this room that was empty like 30 mins ago is now packed .. and low and behind who is in the room with me.. this boy who i have not been in forever who I am seeing tonight .. omg I was like wtf ... then i see the elevator doors open and close so I look around the room and cant find bro .. i asked the security guy where my brother is and he said on the elevator that keeps opening and closing .. im like what .. so I walk over to it and when it opens I see him and then it closes...wtf ...

THEN I WOKE UP FOR A MIN TO SEE WHAT TIME IT WAS AND THEN SAW THAT I ONLY SLEPT FOR LIKE 30 MINS SO I CLOSED MY EYES AGAIN

We are now in another room same black and red coloring but a different room one with a window ...i look around and bro is sitting in a chair with he feet on this meeting room desk .. a few other people are around me and also this boy I am meeting tonight ... umm ok .. weird is right ...but this time the difference in this room is the window and I notice its fucken dark outside .. I look at bro and said what the fuck no way am I gonna miss my swigs night for this shit .... then I look at my phone and I have like 6 IM's from IRENE our kick ass waitress from swigs that said ...its almost time, im so excited the night is gonna fly by and be fun, where are you, whats going on, you stood me up hooker, I cant hold your table any longer.....I notice its 8:30pm now and then all of a sudden one elevator opens up .. everyone walks in and I am like ummm ok ...its not a reg elevator this time it look like a little room .... so we get on and you hear all these noises .. and the boy i am going out with tonight grabs me (the fall was like a ride at an amusement part it felt sooo real ... I look around to find bro and I dont see him them I find him holding on for dear life ... hes face says it all (im gonna shit my pants haha) and then the elevator falls ..... 80 floors .... soooo fast ... its soooo loud ... i am sooo scared ... the entire time all I could think about is my brother ... how I am so sorry ... how I cant believe I made him come with me .. how this is all my fault.. and how he never got that lunch I promised him ... i looked up at the screen that tells you the floor you are on and as soon as it hit 2 I woke up ............

OK NOW THIS IS WHY I DONT SLEEP WHEN I AM STRESSED THE FUCK OUT ... UPSET .... AND UMMM YEAH IN NEED OF A FEW DRINKS !!!!!!!!!!

Im exhausted **SIGH**

What Ive done the past two days =)

Bro and dad are out of town and I have had the entire house to myself ... the entire week .... ohhh lord how much I miss living alone ...noooo mess nooo men nooooo drama and we have toilet paper in every bathroom hahaha yes this is the way to live ohhhhh how much I missssssssssssssssss it!!



I mowed the law
I sprayed around the house for ants
I fertilized the lawn omg i hope i didnt kill it ekkk
I pressure cleaned the driveway and the pool deck
I cleaned the pool
I went to the pool place and got the water tested hehe and bought a few things we needed
I vacuumed the entire house (sorry y'all i dont dust)
I moped the floor (busting my ass running downstairs to answer my darn cell phone when it was ummm still wet)
I did everyones laundry (wash dry and folded) and only have one more load to dry =)
I cleaned the fridge out haha
I fixed my bike after getting a flat tire today and having to walk my happy ass 9 miles home
I bought some food to stalk the fridge
I washed my car , bros car, and dads car ... inside and out...

Ohhh yeah I almost forgot when I was mowing the lawn yesterday i decided to use the edger ... omg I cut a wire to one of the 3 sets of lights we have on our front lawn .. wtf I made like 4 trips to hardware store to try and fix it .. i did it but while no one is home I wont turn the outside lawn lights on hahaha shit thats all i need is for my dad and bro to come home to a house thats been burnt down from my stupidity haha

My final thoughts about this weekend are
1. I can never have the weekend off again .. nooo fucken way I was sooo fuck me bored
2. Having a house is a pain in the fucken ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS BEEN A FUCKED UP 2 WEEKS

Ok so this week .. was classified as one of my worst weeks ever .. I am dreading next month for soooooooooooo many fucken reason that I am not gonna share right now , but if y'all have followed my blog the past 2 years then you will totally understand why next month, the month after than, and then the month after that, and ohhhh wait yeah ending in March ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I HATE IT!!

Soooooooooooooooooooo another conclusion I have come across is that friends are fucker asses at times ... well most of the time ...naaaa fuck it all of the time.. but there is always that one person .. that one person who you never expected to ever be there that well in the end turned out to be there to listen.

Its pretty crazy how life has funny ways of showing you things!!

DREAMS DREAMS DREAMS

Ok so you know how they say all your answers are in your dreams... you just have to understand them.

Ok so a few months ago I decided to move to Boston and well because of the accident and my knee my date keeps getting pushed back and back and back and back. I am not the kind of person to ever let this happen. I make a decision, i do it, and I never look back. Well this time around I have had no control over any of this and .. omg ....I have thought and thought and thought and thought about the move soooo much that i feel it is making me sick and crazy because the more I think about it the more I think this is all happening for a reason. I hate saying things happen for a reason...trust me ever since mom passed away I believe sometimes things just fucken happen.... but fuck why aren't I in Mass yet?? Why aren't I moved yet?? Fuck I am sooooooo frustrated!!!

Ok so I have this dream last night and omg it was soooo vivid .. sooooo vivid to the point that I am lime omg are you kidding me....i am not gonna get into it but I think its not the right thing ... i think my calling is here and something much different. Something I have always wanted to do but havent had enough money to dooooooo it.... I am sooo stressed and now I am torn. Why is it that I get soooooo fucken torn between things at times...i dont know what to do and I am soooo frusterated to the point that every time I think about it I fucken fell sooooooooooooo sick!!!!

SWIGS "Happy Birthday Jana"

SWIGS 9/19/07 JANA's B-Day Surpirse

"I ONLY DRINK WHEN I'M DRUNK"
GOOD TIMES GIRLS

A HUMP DAY THATS A PAIN IN MY ASS

OMG it is 3:30am and I am gonna kill little bro ... ok sooooooo not only do I have a blog that I have to update daily , a myspace that I have to check 100 times daily , but now i have a facebook .ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh omg little bro is dead... he sent me this instant message and well it was an invite to facebook and well i click on it thinking ok what the hell is this invite thing ... yeah I sign on and create a profile .. ahhhhhhhh he is gonna die .. so yeah now I have a facebook account too .. ohhhhh jeeeez no comment .. that shit is sooooo frustrating but i do recall myspace being just ass hard because it was soooo new .. all that html-ing shit and setting it all up .... ugh ... now this is one more thing I have to worry about ... FUCKEN BRO ...

PS on the brighter side of things ... its WEDNESDAY and I am in FLORIDA so you soooo know what that means hahahahaha yet you are right



lol its gonna be a good one soooooo stay tuned for pics haha

I AM BACK IN HOT ASS FLORIDA

I AM BACK IN HOT ASS FLA ... omg I feel like I am gonna melt ...
MASSACHUSETTS WAS FUN I GOT A LOT ACCOMPLISHED so this trip was a well worth one!!

Ok so its Tuesday and I am back ... but i am sooooo damn tired ... I slept till 12:30pm .. omg i havent dont that in years ... i dont know why but damn am I exhausted !!!

UPDATE

MTV VMA's BRITNEY SPEARS flub of a perform was from a broken right heel ... hahahaha that is the word on the street ..... what do you all think ???

Ok so interviewing is going ok .. and when I say ok its because I have been late to every interview .. damn you MASS-HOLE HIGHWAYS !!! The driving is a little crazy here .. and when I say little I really mean a lot .. these highways curve, bend, break, and run into other roads/highways ... yeah before I make my drive up north I am investing in a GPS SYSTEM ... AKA: TOM TOM hahaha well TOM TOM is what everyone up here calls a GPS!!

HERE IS SOME MASS LINGO haha

I AM TORN IN HALF!!

SOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE BEEN IN MASS FOR A FEW DAYS NOW AND WELL HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE STATE!!!

CONS
-They are fucken fucker ass drivers .. omg i swear worst than MIA, LA or NYC ..
thats why they call MASS DRIVERS ... MASS-HOLES
- the highways are retarded .. nothing goes two directions N and S it all curves ...
the highway will say North but your compass in the car says south .. its stupid
-the squirrels all have death wishes .. omg they run right out in front of you ..
just like that car commercial .. omg they got that idea from driving in this
state ... i have learned that I break for squirrels haha
- people are rude .. they dont say hi , thank you , or have a nice day ... dude
whats up with that?
- all the street driving is 35mph .. ohhhh lord I am use to 45 and 70 haha
- everything takes forever to get to
-people are sooooo damn slow .. in stores
-I hate hate hate learning new grocery stores i just want a publix =(
-Everyones washing machine is in the basement .. ahhhhhh they are all freaky wtf

PROS =) lol b/c i always look at the glass as being 1/2 full
-Dude they have gees everywhere .. its crazy ive totally seen flocks of gees flying
in a V haha
-I saw my first chipmunk ever and it ate out of my hand it was amazing
-the leaves are changing colors .. it soooo beautiful.. i have never seen that
before
-its not hot at all ... the weather is crazy
-the fall is soooooo beautiful
-this state (well really being up north period) has so much more to see and
experience
-they have pumpkins in stores already .. omg I so want to make pumpkin pie (haha
know any recipes??)
-the lifestyle is soooo hometown-ish ... ive never experienced that
-over all its just something different for me to experience and look back later on
in life and say holly shit I did that =)!!
-I can sit outside and listen to the wind .. omg its fucken amazing blowing through
the trees ... its the simple pleasure of life we take for granted!!

Happy Anniversary Danit =)

DANIT HAPPY 3 YEAR FRIENDSHIP ANNIVERSARY =)
I LOVE YOU GIRL .. EVEN IF YOU DONT UPDATE
YOUR LJ ANYMORE =(
P.S> OUR VMA's ROCKED THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SWIGS LAST GIRLS NIGHT MONTAGE

HERE IS A VIDEO MONTAGE OF OUR LAST GIRLS NIGHT OUT =)
JUST CLICK ON THE PICTURE / LINK AT THE END OF THIS POST!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING IT SUCH A GREAT NIGHT FOR ME =) IT REALLY ONLY MADE MY DECISION TO MOVE A MUCH HARDER ONE KNOWING THAT I WILL BE LEAVING SUCH GREAT FRIENDS =(, BUT HEY NO WORRIES I WILL BE BACK TO VISIT .. YOU ALL KNOW THAT .. AND GET READY FOR THE PATS AND FINS GAME .. I AM SOOOOOOO IN TOWN THAT WEEKEND AND ITS MY B-DAY WEEKEND SO WE ARE GONNA GET CRUNK =) FOR SURE !!!!

THANK YOU AGAIN
LOVE
CHRISSIE =)

WE TOTALLY DID GO OUT WITH A BANG
I LOVEEEEEE ALL OF YOU
THANK YOUUUUUU SOOOOO MUCH =)


SWIGS LAST GIRLS NIGHT OUT 9-5-07

LAST GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!

THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER.. WEDNESDAY NIGHT ..
TONIGHT is it ... omg .... its gonna be amazing
ITS OFFICALLY OUR LAST GIRLS NIGHT / LADIES NIGHT
AT SWIGS BARTINI AND BISTRO THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH!



Its our last ladies night out at SWIGS before I move .. omg Its gonna be sad but amazing at the same time! We have 2 table, the greatest people going, the best waitress in the world (who I forgot to mention I know is Greek just from her name and we have a bet going tonight if I am right ) YEAH I KNOW I AM .. so yeah she is the fucken coolest ever.. so we are just gonna say for right now that she is greek and cool just like me hehe ... lol GREEKS KNOW HOW TO PARTY =)!! SO ITS GONNA BE A ROCKING NIGHT SO TOTALLY STOP BY =)!!!

MY MOOD IS SAD YET EXCITED AT THE SAME TIME !! Is that possible people?? I think soooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

STAY TUNED FOR PICS !!!

DOWNTOWN =)

My night was a rough one .... We met these two boys at SWIGS last wednesday night and they called us to go downtown with them .. I havent been downtown in years ... years years years ... to party that is ... and our original plans were to hit the HARD ROCK ... MURPHY'S LAW BABY... but plans changed when we got to TIAJUANA TAXI haha (I LOVE THAT PLACE) so we headed downtown and when we got there it was ghetto dead but haha when our guys got there it picked up and we had the time of our lives....we hit soooooo many places and met/talked to soooooooooo many people .... You know what these boys are the best boys ever (MICHAEL AND JOSE) plus its always a plus when your boys are HOT HOT HOT BOYS.. they worked the room we worked the room (micahel made sure of it and always pointed me over to damn oregon trail boys haha but its all good hew as just looking out for us lol whoohoohoooo it was fucken amazing great!!! Amie got CRUNK (haha it was her turn) and she met this hot ass tall ass 6'6 boy .. wow he was sooooooo talk (hows the weather up there boyyyyyyyyyyy) lol ok yeah that joke wasn't really that funny WHATEVER!! I was the DD and picture taker but its all good I had a blast..and over all it was fun .. it was a late late late night that turned into an early morning ... but deff it was a fun last weekend out with the girls (lol get it amie GIRLZZZZ) ... now today is full of much needed R and R and to watch that movie and finish up the laundry I put of yesterday because I got distracted downloading music on my ipod for our drive around town haha ... HOPE YOUR WEEKEND WAS A FUN ONE HAVE A SAFE BUT FUN LABOR DAY !!!!