Sooooooooooo SAD

I just realized that this Thursday March 1st 10:33pm will be 1 months since I had to put Dakota down! Its different this time around ..... cant say harder but much different .... with mom even after two years it felt like it was just yesterday ... but with Dakota it feels like he is still here... like its not real...not real yet ... When I am in my room watching TV or a movie I find myself looking over at my door waiting for him to just come into my room and lay on my bed with me.... whenever I get home I look right over at the chair he would be sitting on in the living room, and when I dont see him its natural to just assume he would be upstaris... then when I walk upstairs I cant help but glance into the guest room on the bed to see if he is there, or even when I walk into my room I cant help but just stare at my bed at times because I just want to see him laying on my bed wagging his tail as I walk up to him to say HI ...weird I sooo know .... crazy ... ohhh lord dont get me started ... it does not feel real but it is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOOYAH

BOOYAH
OHHHHHH YEAH
I AM IN A MYSPACE BLOG ...
Re-cap: Nikki and bro are good friends
After we put dakota down bro took me out for
a Night-o-fun ... Nikki was the ring-master
and bro was the clown that night hahahaha

Nikki and Bro being themselves
CRAZY FUN


SPINderella = ) BLOG

I CANT SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH
I CANT FUCKEN SLEEP....
Im stressed out ...
I have 2 pimple on my face ...
I have to get up for work in about 2 hrs....
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DONT YOU JUST WISH YOU CAN JUST
STOP YOUR MIND FROM THINKING....
AHHHHHHHHHHHH STOP STOP STOP ... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Procrastination Sucks

Sunday .... ugh the day before Monday ... don't ya just hate both days. Sunday because ugh its totally the day before the first day of the week and work work work ..... Monday ohhh lord Mondays "its just another manic Monday" hahaha but whatever its all good =) because I was off all week last week... and if was a pretty uneventful week on my part... during the day that is because I really did nothing at all but at night whoohoohoo I hit the town =) .... but that is besides the point because I had a lot on my TO DO LIST and of course I didn't do any of it and now ahhhhhhhhhhh I am kicking myself in the ass because it was really 7 days of sitting on my ass doing jack ass shit when I could have done soooooooo damn much (god damn why didn't I take my car down for an oil change, clean the house like I have been meaning to, mow the damn forest of a lawn we have outside the list just goes on ) damn damn damn but o well its the past and I cant change that so I got to rest, do nothing, catch up on my movies, friends, and well me putting of my TO DO LIST just give me something to do after work during the week.....whoohoohoo!!

NEW MUST DO TO DO LIST
Monday
*Mow the damn lawn
*Go to pool place to test water
*Clean the pool
Tuesday
*unhook my desk top and take it apart
*Tidy up computer desk
*Clean guest room
Wednesday
*Clean house
*I AM TALKING CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN
Thursday
*RENT MOVIES from BLOCKBUSTER &
Watch them while doing all the Laundry
Friday-
*Come home
*DO nothing
*take a nap
*plan to go the fuck OUTTTTTT TONIGHT!!!

Maybe hahaha .. more like always hehehe

Everyone who knows me knows I use Noxzema to wash my face. Its sooooo crazy how many types of Noxzema they have on the shelves now.... NOXZEMA LINK.... I ran out of my face wash the other day so I had to run into the store and of course since I was in a hurry I bought the wrong kind....ugh ... after a few days of using the wrong gross one I had throw the one I just bought out and go back to the store to buy another one.... well I grabbed it and walked out.. that night when I was washing my face in the shower I noticed something new on it.. take a look ... I thought it was pretty cool...


HAHAHA MAYBE MOM WAS RIGHT ...
I almost shit my pants when I read that!!

ORDER IN THE COURT!!!

Order in the Court!

He laughed. He cried. He did Catskills stand-up shtick. The judge who presided, if you can call it that, over the Anna Nicole Smith case

Judge Larry Seidlin awarded custody of Smith’s remains to Dannielynn’s guardian, attorney Richard Milstein, who was given “sole and absolute discretion” to decide where Smith would be interred.

P.S. Didnt the judge look like an older FONZIE with no hair??

MISSING YOU

I MISSSSSSSS YOUUUUUUUU
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH

HOME IS NOT THE SAME
NOTHING IS THE SAME ANYMORE
*Its toooo damn quiet
*No more responsibility's
*No more Vet Visits
*No more nightly walks
*No more fun floppy ears in the wind car rides
*No more dog park friends
*No more friendly greetings at the door
*No more barks that would scared the shit out of me
*No more driving up and looking in the front windows
*No more messy bed from laying on it
*No more PetSmart
*No more "buy toys for Dakota" thoughts
*No more black hair on my white tile
*No more dropping food on the floor and not having to pick it up
*No more eatting dindin and slipping you some food
*No more cold midnight peepee wake-ups
*No more ......
Lets just say this list is endless
I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOO DAMN MUCH!!

Stupid Shit I watch on TV

I just woke up and started channel surfing .... well I found something that caught my interest hahaha ... but I have to ask ....GOOD LORD WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME ... I am a dork!!!!

First it was the Anna Nicole Smith trial that I could not stop watching .... now I am at home up at the ass crack of dawn watching NASA TV...



At 5 a.m. EST, two crew members of the International Space Station will begin the fourth spacewalk in the last three weeks. During the six-hour spacewalk, Expedition 14 Commander Michael Lopez Alegria and Flight Engineer Mikhail Tyurin will work to free a stuck antenna on the Progress 23 supply spacecraft.

Watach Nasa TV Now

OFF THIS ENTIRE WEEK

I am off from work this week... ahhhh I am loving it.... finally a week of just me ... doing nothing at all... and just chilling... note to self catch up on movies at Blockbuster and also in theaters...whoohooohoo... but other than that I dont have anything really planned to do this week just relax and do nothing.

Today I did all my laundry ... cleaned my room.... cleaned our bathroom.... mopped downstairs.... and watched some movies..... hahaha just really a chill out day... god I love times like these. I think tomorrow the plan is to get an oil change and hit the beach. But haha nothing is set in stone so whooo the hell knows!!

ANNA NICOLE HEARING

WHAT WAS HER CAUSE OF DEATH?
WHO GETS CUSTODY OF HER BODY?
WHERE WILL SHE BE BURIED?
WHO IS DANNIELYNN'S FATHER?
WHO GETS ANNA NICOLES ESTATE?

Ohhhh lord help us all

OMG THE ANNA NICOLE HEARING IS A FUCKEN JOKE!!
Judge Larry Seidlin is such an asshole...

CNN

Girls night In/Out

Girls Night
+
2 crazy fun people
+
Cold Night Out in Florida
=
The Idea

The Idea started off sounding good
Walmart grill $5.99
Smore's goodies $4.70
Fire Log $1.43
Matches $ .50

Cold night out, just doing nothing, starting the fire, eating mallos, grill falling apart hahaha PRICELESS

IM A CHICKEN SHIT!!

OMG I was in the restroom at work ... a single stall one with two doors to get in...and I heard PISSSSSSSSSSSST ... then after a few seconds PISSSSSSSSSST again ohhh lord then what the fuck ......PISSSSSSSST again a few seconds later... all this while I was on the toilet mind you .. omg me the chicken shit hearing this in the bathroom... all I could think of was bloody mary in the mirror ... I wanted to get the fuck out of the bathroom and lord was I moving while I kept hearing PISSSSSSSSST...come to find out the PISSSSSSSSST i was hearing this stupid fucken automatic air thing in the bathroom ... I felt like a moran... who the fuck has these stupid things........



Yeah well glad my stupid fears can entertain you all !

Feb 14th 2007

AS MUCH AS I HATE TODAY IT TURNED OUT TO BE A GOOD DAY!!! Still single but a good day haha!!

RE-CAP of the day
-Worked ... ummmm ugh lets not get started...moving on
-Came home to a dirty house ..keep reading hahaha..
-Took a quick shower
-Swam in a dirty public pool with dudet ewwwwwwwww but fun
-Went out to dindin with dudet ... damn it had been a while
-Finally got DIRECT TV ..switched from Dish..keep reading
-Finally whoohoohoooo god DSL lol thats right baby no more dial up and not being able to upload pages hahahaha GOOD BYE LOWTECH WORK .. HELLO HIGH SPEED ..where have you been all my life???

We got a good deal with our LANDLINE, CABLE (DISH), DADS CELL PHONE, AND DSL ... all 4 bills will be paid at one time through Bellsouth and in the end dad saves like 200 bucks ... hell yeah!!!

Over all like I said it turned out to be a good day!!

NIGHT-o-FUN

I went out Sat night with Bro and a few of his friends … Ohhhh lord is all I have to say!!

PICs WILL BE POSTED SOON!!

Rainbows Bridge (Dakota)

We had Dakota Cremated and today I picked up his remains. A few days later I got a card in the mail from the company who cremated him that said this!! It made me cry of course and I thought it was cute so I had to share it with everyone!

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Dakota.... I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH

He was the biggest part of my life. He has been a part of the best of times and also the worst of times. He was not only my dog he was my kid, my best friend, my companion. He never complained about anything!! He always had the best ears for listening!! When I was sad he was there, when I was mad he hung around me, when I was happy he took part in my smile, when I was sad he just had to lay his head on me to show me that he cared. He was the kid of dog who never showed he was in pain or ever show any form of sadness. He was always happy and would always find a way to turn your frown upside down. I can truly say he was my pride and joy. It didn't take much to make him happy (treats, a walk, a car ride, a new toy) he loved the simple things because he was a simple dog! His love was unconditional, his heart was pure as gold, his face was one you could not walk away from. He saw the good in everyone, he was never shy always outgoing, but most of all he was the best dog and the only thing that not only kept me going after mom passed away but also showed me it was ok to love and be loved in return.

Dakota was born in Orlando Florida on January 25, 2001. He was for sale in front of Winn-Dixie (a grocery store in Florida). I always said it was fate that lead him to me. His story is a sad one but his life was a happy one. I was in College and went to Winn Dixie for some milk when I saw a pen of puppies. All of them were going fast and all that was left were three of dakota brothers. When I saw him and I put my hands in the pen to pet him but his 3 brothers jumped all over me and Dakota walked to the other end of the pen, so I followed. He was the smallest and the only one with a white patch on his chest, you can tell he was the runt.He stayed in the corner looking at me and at that min I knew he was the one. I had been looking for a dog for a few months but never saw one that really took my breath away until I saw dakota! I fought with the man about wanting him after he told me he was sick, and shy, and he is not the one I want. I picked Dakota up (never letting him go) and told the guys this is the one I want how much is he? The guys laughed at me and said 20.00 I said here and took Dakota home ... Ohh yeah I never got the milk I went to the store for that day haha... After spending an hr with dakota I never thought a 5.3 lbs puppy would ever become the biggest part of my life. That day 3/25/2001 was the beginning of my new life! I gave Dakota that one and only chance he needed to be rescued and that was the start of my new chapter with my best friend!!

Dakota showed me 6 years of joy and unconditional love!!!!! Dakota not only showed me how to love, he showed me how to live and for that I owe him everything. I cant help but think about how much more I could have done with him if I only new our time would be so short! I am sad and nothing will ever be able to fill that void because that dog meant more than the world to me!

When I bought Dakota I came across this poem. A poem in a card that I have cherished for the past 6 years. Its one I will never forget and also one that will always and forever remind me of him.

Dakota is my friend, my partner, my defender, he is my dog.
I am his life, his love, his leader. He will be mine, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. I owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
Love, Your Owner

My mom fell in love with him, my dad found so much more happ

"Where did I go wrong
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life"

HAD TO SAY BYE TO MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER

BEHIND EVERY BAND IS A STORY



I havent posted in a while only because this post is a hard one to write.

On January 22nd we got the news that Dakota had Cancer. The type of Cancer is called Canine Lymphoma (Lymphosarcoma). The Vet said "What Dakota has and the location of the cancer is rare and only about 1000 cases have ever been filed" OMG go fucken figure that Dakota is 1001...the options were chemo therapy or nothing. After talking it over with Bro and Dad and doing some extensive research about the cancer and also treatments we opted to try out the Chemo. What I learned from all the reasurch was that Chemo for Animals is not at tall the same at humans (no hairloss, or that much of a side effect because its a low dosage of the treatment). I know many people would not agree on what I did (I find myself looking back and thinking would I do the same thing all over again) but hey what it came down to was I have to try because if not then I would always wonder what if and ask myself if I did enough or really as much as I could do for him. The type of Cancer he had has no cure cancer and the Chemo would only extend the quality of life. Chemo Cycle- once a month vet visit blood work check, weight check, and chemo pill (by mouth) following with a daily steroid pill for 30 days till the Chemo Cycle will then be repeated.

January 25th HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAKOTA
Chemo day One 10:45AM
Dakota was a little not himself really tried and drinking lots of water. Loss of appetite for a few hours but by around 7ish when it was time for his walk he was acting himself.

Day Two
Still a little tired, urinating a lot more, and drinking lots and lots of water hahahaha you can tell me was totally my dog because I am a fish lol but no really side effects from the chemp other than that. What they told me the Steriod pills would do.

Day Three
Totally himself running jumping eatting everthing you give him and just happy happy happy
I took him on a mini road trip this day to Fort Myers. Mom Dad Bro Dakota and I would go every year so I really wanted to do this. We both had fun he ran around went into the water for a while and then just sat on the beach. It was fun just him and I !!

Day Four
All is soooooooooooo great!!
We went to the pool place and did a few things around the house

Day Five
Loving this dog more and more every day ... for the past few weeks I have been sleeping with him in the guest room haha its a routine thing now and he has been going with me everywhere. It feels like old time when I was on O-town I never went anywhere without him even out to dindin he would come and we would eat outside haha

Day Six
I THINK THE CHEMO IS WORKING... I have so much hope in this because if you think about it this dog is not your normal dog .. he is a fighter.. ok ok ok when he gets attacked he does not fight but every other time in his life he has fought for his life!! The will to live is more powerfull than just giving up and if anyone can fight this it is him!!!!

Day Seven
My hope is so high right now and I want him to re-wright those text book cases... he is doing so great and the sadness I felt has totally gone away!

Day Eight
Down Hill in a mater of hours
I left him this morning and he was doing fine.. when I got home around 12:30 he was walking slow, acting different, and really not even looking himself. I gave him a few treats took him outside and he just seemed to be werid. He was still himself coming when I called him , wagging his tail but I knew something was not right. I went upstairs to do something and when he came he put his head on my bed as if he wanted to lay next to me, then he jumped 1/2 way up (front paws on my bed, and back legs still on the floor) I told him to get up a few time but it looked like he thought he didn't have room to jump. When that happens I usually grab his collar, tug it towards me, say get up and he jumps up. This time when I did that he turned to my hand on my collar and bit me. He got me good. I did not yell nor did I do anything to stop him . I felt that he bit me because I hurt him somehow. I went downstairs and he followed me I told my bro not to touch Dakota. He got scared and we all went outside. Bro asked me what happened and told him what I did and I also said I think when I tugged him his stomach touched the bed and that hurt him .... and is only initial reaction was to bit me to stop me from tugging. I called the vet and we went in... when they examined him he was having abdominal pain so she recommended a pain shot and also pain patch. I said yes, but I knew it was time to start thinking of when I was gonna make that decision I have been dreading the past few weeks. When dad got home from work we all talked about it and I made the decision to put him down tonight. The pain management shot will only work for a day or so and the patch only three days, and I could not see Dakota suffer so I knew I had to do this. We gave Dakota cake, human food, and treats. Then we went back to the vet.

Alyssa, Julie, Bro and I were around Dakota, they gave us as long as we wanted with him... I took him outside and said my goodbye and at 10:33pm FEB 1 2007 we let him go. This was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do!

DAKOTA I LOVED YOU SOOOO MUCH AND MISS YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!! I AM SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!