I am missing mom today.... more than ever ... I hate holidays ... now.... that is... I never use to but now even the smallest stupid days hurt like hell. Little Bros Birthday is on Monday .. he will be 25 :) .. im so happy but at the same time so sad .... all i keep thinking is how last year he was the first to celebrate a birthday without mom. I try my best to make things special for him, but sometime even my best isnt good enough in my eyes only because no matter how much I try or what I do its never the same. I dont think anything will ever be the same anymore!!
I hate feeling like this .... Only this year have I started crying over mom.. really accepting her death ... not wanting to .. but just really dealing day by day! I think about dad and michael all the time and how mom was the only person they would both talk to and now who do they turn to???? .. not me!!!!!
I cant begin to tell you how much I am missing mom more and more everyday.
::::: FUNNY HOW WHEN MOM WAS AROUND ::::
* The house always seemed to be clean and smelled perfect!!
I try and try and try .... I clean and clean and clean but its never the same
* We would never run out of toilet paper!!!
ahhhhhh kill me now because sometimes I feel like I am back in college with dad and michael around
* Fridge was always stalked ... ohhhh the good old days .... milk, bread, cream cheese, jelly ...
ahhh the joys of the little things in life that you tend to miss when living with two dudes and a mail dog !!With dad and bro around I shop and shop and shop but everything just seems to disappear in a matter of hours not even days !!
* Herman .. getting your period was never stressful when mom was around I always knew if I ran out of something she would have a stash somewhere.
NOW I AM JUST SHIT OUT OF LUCK ... and men just dont understand to leave me the F alone when its that time of the month!!
* Dailey family Dinner was always a must ... well what we all did !!
now its everyone just fin for themselves most of the time
* Holidays ... decorations were always up... it was always a fun time
now its like ok screw that .. unless I (chrissie) decide to put them up
* Birthdays ... always a smile on moms face because she always knew what to get us and she would always add that extra Skivvies gift :)
No lie come one ... i mean you dont think of getting underwear unless you are in dire need of them hahaha but every b-day and christmas that would be a gift we would get haha
* Good Night check insEvery night mom would make sure my TV was turned off and my feet were covered before she went to bed haha
Now dad and bro can care less what time I stroll in!!
* Those annoying Mom is worried phone calles .... Mom would always call to check up on me when I was either out with somef riends or working late late late .
I think I miss those out of the blue but expected calls the most!!Its a lack of effort from both dad and bro
* Last but not least ... endless love ... even if you got into a fight with mom you knew it was gonna turn out to be ok ... a big fat im sorry .. then you would know she loves you even more that before, and then give you an even bigger hug than last time.
I AM JUST MISSING THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE WE ALL TAKE FOR GRANTED!!
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