Work has been sucking ass ... Its been busy busy busy at every job I have at the moment .... I am so tired all the time and somedays I ask myself WHAT THE F*#K am I doing???? I just have to keep busy because if not then all I do is think about is mom and get real upset. So in a way all this work is good because it keeps me occupied and is also giving me some much needed cash :)!!
I cant believe its DEC already .... OMG where did the year go .... Its so weird to say the year is almost over and as much as I want it to end I so dont ... in many ways I keep thinking damn this time last year mom it was moms last full month with us ... Thanksgiving in PHX , Black Friday (day after thanksgiving sales) , Moms last Birthday, Christmas and New Years. All of everyone's favorite days and yet my most feared days of all. I hate them all and every holiday this year did not seem like a holiday. All I did last year was pray she would get through the holidays and if anything were to happen it would be after all I just listed, but now I hate that my prayers were answered because it only makes it harder to remember mom not well this time last year ... the funny part about it is mom had her good and bad days but no matter how much pain she was in or how shitty she was feeling she would never show it. She was a strong woman and I miss her sooooooo much!!
I've hated the 5th of every month this year because I cant help but think its another month she has been gone. JAN 5th will her exactly 1 year.... one year I have spent without saying to my mom .... Hello, I love you, Good Night, See you later all those little words we all take for granted ... I guess that is why they all mean so much more to me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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