Wednesday, March 08, 2006

PAY IT FORWARD!!!!

This week has been an interesting week ... but today tops it .... first I was late to work ... yes all three jobs I have, but whats new when you hate work ... then I slipped in the kitchen because this stupid guy decided to wash the floors with dish soap and the result was me slipping ... now my knee hurts sooo fucken bad ... the day just dragged on and the time went by soooooo slow .... then on my way home I saw this woman (old lady in her 70's) blow out her tire, so I flagger her over and offered to change it for her ... she told me she had AAA and she will call them when she got home ... I said dont worry its no trouble and to drive home with a flat is not safe .... I asked her to open her trunk .... she said can I ask you a question ... I said sure ... she said WHY are you doing this??? ... I am sure I had a blank look on my face because really I did not know why I was doing this, but I looked at her and said I dont know why .... I guess its because I would hope someone would help me out if I needed it!! She said honey kids now a days your generation would have just passed me right by and not looked back ... you tell your mother that I said she raised a lovely and kind young lady.... if she is still alive that is ... in my mind I questioned that last comment of hers about mom being alive ..... I said well she passed away a little over a year ago ... she said I am so sorry but she is watching and she knows how wonderful you turned out .... you tell your dad what I told you to tell your mom :)!! I had sunglasses on and started to cry but she did not notice!! I changed her tired and we talked while I was doing it .... she told me that she has written a book, and is waiting for it to be published, her agent is in New York , and she went on to tell me a little about the book .... when I was done she offered me money but I did not take it ... I told her I did not stop because I had to... I stopped because I wanted to help ... she said thank you, gave me her card, asked me for my information and gave me a hug and said "everything happens for a reason" ... I said good bye, got into my car, while I was driving away I looked in my rearview mirror and read her lips saying THANK YOU !!!

I made a comment a few post ago that things dont happen for a reason they just happen ... I have had time to think about what I posted and are thinking I need to make a retraction .... its funny how you view life one way and then in a blink of an eye your entire perspective about everything is just changed!! I dont know why I stopped for this lady , or even why I went the way I went because I never ever go down the road I decided to go down today.... so this just makes me think about life, dreams, friends and family so much more right now!! YEAH I KNOW THINKING IS ALWAYS A DANGEROUS THING FOR ME .. but whatever it still made me think about a lot!

If everything does happen for a reason why has everything the past few mins, hrs, days, weeks, months, and even year happened the way they have in my life!!

I saw a quote on this persons page that I sort of like but also dislike for some reason!
"Change in people is always good, even if it's bad"

I have to question how much I have changed the past few years, even the past 5 months ..... if I like the change ... if the change is good .... if this change has made a big influence on the people I love in a bad way .. and if this change is a good thing for me??????????????

I cant help but think about that movie PAY IT FORWARD .... how one small kid impacted so many people!! Its like saying ... if you are a good person good things will happen to you .... its great to say it, also feel it, and hope one day all your good will pay off.... but really even after all good things have been done how much good has really come back to you or me???????????

I FEEL LIKE MY HANDS ARE IN HEAVEN BUT MY FEET ARE STUCK IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!

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