>>>The White Lie Test <<<
Chrissie's Results of "The Test"
How many white lies do you tell?Your score = 35
What does your score mean?
You seem to believe in the virtue of honesty, but don't apply it blindly without consideration for the specifics of the situation. You level with others when it seems like the best thing to do, but also know when it's better to keep your mouth zipped. The truth, you know, can be cruel and sometimes it's simply kinder to tell a little fib. If you've ever seen the movie Liar Liar, you know what can happen if we share everything we think! Continue using your judgment, and make sure you soften the harsh truth when you do decide to deliver it.
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Its pretty ironic ... dont ya think hahaha did ya bust out sining ... you so know you did!!
So yeah I had to take this lie test and wow is all I have to say !! Anyway so yeah wow talk about a crazy over the top weekend. First off I have to say I hate to lie ... OMG why do people lie its just more shit they have to remember in the end!! Well we all know when you lie the truth will come out in the end .. that is what I have learned!!
Pretty Ironic how this weekend was a big fat lie and just the other day I was watching a morning show ... yeah yeah yeah I know I have no life hahaha but this one was interesting no lie all about lies and little white lies.
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The Today Show
2:58 p.m. ET Sept. 9, 2005
Everybody lies. It may only be “white” lies, but everyone tells lies or “omits the truth” sometimes.
We start lying at around age 4 to 5 when children gain an awareness of the use and power of language. This first lying is not malicious, but rather to find out, or test, what can manipulated in a child’s environment. Eventually children begin to use lying to get out of trouble or get something they want.
White lies, those concocted to protect someone’s feelings, are not a big deal at all. The person, however, who seems to feel compelled to lie about both the small and large stuff has a problem.
We often call these folks pathological liars (which is a description, not a diagnosis). They lie to protect themselves, look good, gain financially or socially and avoid punishment. Quite often the person who has been deceived knows that this type of liar has to a certain extent deluded him or herself and is therefore to be somewhat pitied.
A much more troubling group is those who lie a lot — and knowingly — for personal gain. These people may have a diagnosis called antisocial personality disorder, also known as being a sociopath, and often get into scrapes with the law.
Lying often gets worse with the passage of time. When you get away with a lie it often impels you to continue your deceptions. Also, liars often find themselves perpetrating more untruths to cover themselves.
We hold different people to different standards when it comes to telling the truth. We expect, for example, less honesty from politicians than from scientists. We have a vision of purity about those who are doing research, while we imagine that politicians will at least shade the truth about themselves in order to get elected.
Why do we dislike liars, especially sociopaths, so much? It’s a matter of trust. When a person lies, they have broken a bond – an unspoken agreement to treat others as we would like to be treated. Serious deception often makes it impossible for us to trust another person again.
Because the issue of trust is on the line, coming clean about the lie as soon as possible is the best way to mend fences. If the truth only comes out once it is forced, repair of trust is far less likely.
As a parent, the most important message you can send your children about lying is that you always — always — want them to come clean with you. No matter how big a whopper they have told, remind them that you would always rather hear the truth, no matter how bad it is, than be deceived. Tell them there is really nothing more sacred in your relationship than your trust of each other.
Of course, all this presupposes that we have discovered an untruth — some people are so expert at deception that it often takes a long time to find out that we have been lied to.
How, then, can we best detect whether we are being misled? There is no foolproof way, but there are often clues you can see in behavior that should make you suspicious:
Avoidance of eye contact: Usually someone makes eye contact at least half the time they are talking to you. If you notice them avoiding eye contact or looking down during a specific part of a conversation, they may well be lying.
Change of voice: A variation in pitch of voice or rate of speech can be a sign of lying. So can lots of umms and ahhs.
Body language: Turning your body away, covering your face or mouth, a lot of fidgeting of hands or legs can indicate deception.
Contradicting yourself: Making statements that just don’t hold together should make you suspicious.
Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to “Today.” For more information, you can visit her Web site, www.drgailsaltz.com.
© 2005 MSNBC Interactive
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