HEAT WAVE

HOLLY SHIT ... TODAY MY CAR OUTSIDE TEMPERATURE READ 99 ... omg .....dude that means at one point today the temperature was 1 degree short of 100 ... dude 99 degrees in florida with the 1 million percent humidity means it was really ...DAMN AFRICA HOT.... wtf ... I am sooo moving .. no way .... my hair looks like skata after I do it.... no tint in my car ..YET ...when I touch the stirring wheel I smell burnt flesh from the hands..... why take a shower when you are just going to shower in your own sweat as soon as I walk out the door... ... no no no ... what is up with this heat wave in Florida... dude the worst part is that its not even August ... holly shit ...


P.S> DANIT IT IS HOTTER IN FLORIDA
THAN IT IS IN ISRAEL!!!!!!
I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY!!!!


It's so hot in Florida that...

* the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
* the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do is to pull one out add butter, salt& pepper.
* farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
* the cows are giving evaporated milk.
* you cannot say 99 degrees without feeling hot.
* you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
* you can make instant sun tea.
* you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
* the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
* you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
* you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
* you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
* The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
* you discover that in June, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
* you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
* you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* hot water now comes out of both taps.
* it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
* you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
* you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
* no one would dream of not having air conditioning.
* your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the
pavement and cook to death?"

YEAH ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN HOT IN FLORIDA RIGHT NOW!!!