I HATE LIZARDS

I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM

So dad wasnt home
Bro just left to go play poker
DUDE NO LIE HE JUST LEFT....
and me ...little old me was home alone =(

Yeah of course something was bound to happen and low and be hole I go to take the trash out and a LIZARD runs from underneath the trash can right at me... omg yes I said right at me ... nooooooooooooooooooooo way WHAT THE BEEP!!!!! So hello yes I dropped the trash... and run the other way ... that way was into the kitchen ....then it ran towards me... dude this lizard had some balls to do that... so I of course ran the other way ... out the door ... but on my way out i decided hey we have a broom....i get the broom and then I lost it .... noooooooooooo way not happening on my watch ... dude I wont be able to see knowing a lizard is running a muck in the house .... so I get on my hands and knees to find it and after about 5 mins of that I see it and the jackass comes running towards me again.... omg piss me pants .... what is wrong with this thing .....I finally corner it and try to swoosh it out with the broom but this thing isnt scared of me or the broom and again runs right at me ... ughhhhhhh this thing was just pissing me off .... my knee hurts, im tired, im not in a good mood from my doc visit and now I have to deal with this thing ... ahhhhhhhhhh.... so i suck it all up and I corner it again at the same time calling like 10 people to come and help me... but of course no one answered .....wtf ... so me the brave soul decides I am gonna get this little shit out of my house...

2hrs and 30 mins later I still cant get it... I am throwing tupperware at it , towels, cups ... omg you name it I threw it at the damn thing ... but nothing was working ... then I finally cornered it .... that didnt last to long when it came full speed right towards me ... i corner it again and agian it run towards me ... then the little shit decides to go behind something and when I movie whatever it went behind it would run towards me ... WTF .... ok so after some time of trashing the house and calling the world ... my friend Javier showed up at my door to come to the rescue ... I was chasing this thing for over 2 hrs and dude talk about me looking like hell....sweating, hair all over the place, the house a mess ....no lie this freak ass animal lover comes over and gets the lizard in i swear 2 mins. I was like WTF ...

KEEP READING IT GETS BETTER
JAVI: I got it
ME: WHAT ?!?!?!
JAVI: I got it
ME: take it outside .. OUTSIDE!!!!
JAVI: Awww he is small
ME: SMALL?!?! WHAT GET IT OUT OF HERE
JAVI: Chrissie he is scared
ME: Dude he is scared?!?! HIM??!?!?
JAVI: His heart is beating fast
ME: His heart?!?!?!
JAVI: He is breathing hard
ME: HIM you are talking about him
the damn lizard him .....
JAVI: I think I am gonna keep him
ME: SHUT THE FUCK UP
JAVI:No really
ME: YOU AND THE LIZARD GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!!